Spare Time

So-- I have this love for photography, the simple beauty of nature. I love to take sky pics.. I was in Florida at a lake when I took this picture. Sometimes I just like to play with any type of picture, but for this one, I wanted to enhance the colors and such, you tell me if you see a differnce.. I know I do!

ReVamp!

Hello Hello & Hello again,

Orginally when I started this blog I wanted it to be fashion for curvy women like myself. However, I feel as though I dont want to limit myself to just that! SO, this blog will be about everything, fashion, my life, and any random moment I may have..

With that I will be documenting my weightloss journey, I was going to do so on YT but who knows. I think that having a goal is crucial, and for myself my goal is to be healthy, and I desire it very much, so you all will get the joy of watching me lose my baby fat ive been trying to lose for years LOL!

End of the Year Jazz

Man, first and foremost-- Its been forever and a day since I've gotten on here.. I did away with the Youtube deal seriously it was a part time job! I do miss it though.

This year-- well its been a year.. started it off very turbulent.. LITERALLY.. then heartache and break blah.. but the way its ending..i just feel blessed and HIGHLY favored.. can i get a amen! Thank ya very much!

I mean, the last month or so, things have been consistently great. I have done away with drama filled people.. It was like having 10 leeches placed at various parts of my body..and it wasn't cool at all. Drained is the half of it..Now I'm meeting new people which is incredible, like for real! I used to hate to meet new people, its like ugh.. i have to tell you my whole life story..or a condensed version of it.. go through the first fight..all the late night conversations..sure its fun at first..but in there gonna be something that happens and theres going to be this nasty taste in my life! Yeah..seriously I hated meeting new people.. And the thought of splitting myself more to hang ahh..its like you know if you spend all your time helping others, being there for others..listening to others moan and groan about things they will never change.. well you miss out on something very crucial.. YOU! I mean its great to be there for people, but sometimes you have stop and say if I'm that person to everyone..who's that person to me? I mean you can be your own best hero, you just have to love yourself, and love yourself enough to set time for yourself to just be alone, and marinate in that freedom. Not worrying about a cell phone text-facebook-twitter-youtube-- you catch my drift. Its crazy how freeing life can be.. Cuz i feel so free and full a life.. 6 months ago.. i prob. wouldnt even let out a ounce of a smile, now.. my cheeks hurt because I smile so..I'm so full of life. I'm not a Debbie downer..just a realist..or i like to think i am :)

ANYWHO--

The year is ending..cant believe how fast these 12 months have FLOWN by! Im too excited for 2012-- its a even year so i know its going to be super bad! To all my fellow friends out there, go into 2012 with a list of goals for yourself and your life, and ackomplish them, when theres a will theres a way..and you have to have the right mindset and will to win to finish any task in life.. Seriously--work and personal!

Have a MERRY Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

To online date? Or to not online date?

First and foremost, this is my personal experience, don't let me hinder you or sway you in your decision to online date. Now that after that, I shall now share my experience with you all. Brace yourself...

...Let's start with...

 eHARMONY!

First and foremost eHarmony is expensive, I signed up for a 3 months stint paying about 60 bucks a month for 3 months. By the end of my sign up and getting the secure profile I spent over 200 dollars in 3 months, and lets say it wasn't worth it. Like seriously wasn't worth it, I could have taken myself on an EXPENSIVE date, and had money left over. Lets not forget the key part.. I would have enjoyed myself.

I went on 2 dates in those three months. First of all, you guys know me. I am 6ft tall woman! All the guys were under 6ft. I remember calling eHarmony and complaining. I was so upset bc to me I was dishing out a lot of money, and not getting any decent prospects. I'm like I'm sorry, I'm 6ft tall, I'm not dating better yet considering dating anyone that's 5'2. The operators response? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, if you really fall in love, that wont matter. My response, so you're telling me that you want me to settle? See that's what I hate about these sites, bc I felt like I had to settle. I felt like I had already said I accepted all races, all religious, and it didn't matter if they guy had kids. You know that's just not me. My guy criteria is pretty simple.



1. Be over 6ft tall.

2. Have a great sense of humor.

3. Be a man of Christ.

4. Have a stable job.

5. Have his own car.

6. Have an education.



To me, that list is pretty simple. But that operator pissed me off something good. I was like I want my money back trick LOL! But I was so serious. So shortly after that I connected with this guy. He was OVER 6ft, and everything else was down hill, but thought I'd give him a chance. God, the way he described himself over eharmony, and over the phone, and everything else made me soooo thinking maybe this could be good. Lord have mercy, when I met him in person.. I was disgusted. He looked trashy, like seriously, acted trashy, and just everything about him was bull. Im like WHO are you?!? I know I sound bad, but im not saying you have to be all that and a bag of chips, but dang he was salty! And he looked NOTHING like his picture on eHarmony. That was a bust not the looking part, but the whole package.

So I left him alone, and started talking to this other guy, he seemed soo cool, I decided i didn't wanna waste 4 weeks like the last one getting to know someone, so I met him 3 days after talking to him. Though he wasn't EXACTLY how he  described AT ALL I continued to date him. He was soo interesting, and I was intrigued by him. He was the opposite of everything that I wanted and I decided that maybe that was my problem, that I needed to try something new. Let me tell you, it gets exhausting meeting new people, and trying to get to know someone. This guy was from a difference race from me, so I think learning each others cultures intrigued us both. Well, I was enjoying our month together, and one minute we were cool, and next it was the I love you, we should change our school and work schedules to match each other, and you should move in. When I think about it, that happened week 2.

That's a lot for someone like me who is deathly afraid of COMMITMENT. Commitment give me a rash, makes me feel like I am chocking on air, better yet like i am suffocating. I was in one long relationship, that ended badly and has warped my perception of what a relationship should be like. Anywho. I decided to back off, and the more I backed off the more the guy came back like 10x harder. It got bad, like real bad, I almost had to change my number. I ended up having to pay a small fee for ATT to block him. He then found me on FB and Youtube and kept sending me msgs. You can only tell a person to back off for so long. After that experience I kept paying for eHarmony, but didnt bother to sign in.

I also tried match.com...lets just say that seemed more like a booty call place than a real place to find someone.

After my experience I made a good evaluation that online dating just was not for me. I rather run into mister right or not right, or whomever he maybe than experience what I did on online dating.. Make your own assumptions. I hope it works out for you if your considering online dating!

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There's No Place Like Home...Seriously!

Hello everyone. What a chaotic week it has been! My car broke down last week, and I stayed with one of my friends, so that I could get to and from work. I have no complaints because I am greatly thankful no doubt! However, I will say I am glad to be home.

So, I live with my mother, but we are more so like roommates. I come home, and she may or may not be here. Even if she is, I tend to do my own thing, and she does the same. So, after living with 2 people in  a decent size house for years, you get used to certain surroundings you know? So, my friend has a 9 month old precious daughter, her two younger brothers, her mom, dad, and let's not forget the animals. It was like culture shock.

There's a huge difference from living with someone and hanging out. I clearly see the defining line. I was only there for 4 days, and I just don't know how she does it. I don't want to be negative, I've said that already, but I don't, because once again I'm grateful, and if she reads this, I'm just not tryna hurt feelings. But by my fourth day I was irritated, I needed quite time. I never craved to be alone than on that day. Everything bothered me. I don't watch much TV but my show came on one night, and with all the racket I couldn't tell you what happened. I didn't bother to even do homework while I was there, bc I knew I would be frustrated, and now I'm behind. No ones fault but my own. What else?!?! I got sick. I'm not sure if it was because I'm not used to animals in a house, or if it was because one of her little brothers was sick, whatever it was, I just uhhh im just glad I'm home.

I learned a valuable lesson, NEVER wish for someone else's life. What I mean is be grateful for what you have. I guess i took simple things for granted, like peace and quite, Internet, and so much more. Staying with my friend has made me appreciate my mom, for her helping me out, for providing me with a stable environment. Once again.. there's no place like home.

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

You have no Idea that I have been reallly waiting for day 10. This is what I live for! I mean seriously, music beats to my heart!

Happy:
Katy Perry- Teenage Dream
Janea Monea- Tight Rope Remix
La Roux- Bullet Proof
The Script- Breakeven
Al Green- Lets Stay Together
Tupac- Changes
Lauren HIll- Cant Take My Eyes Off Of You
Sad:
Sia- Breathe Me
Anna Nalick- Breathe
NickleBack- Hero
Jamie Foxx- Overdose
Bored (mellow):
Nina Simone-Feeling Good
Rascal Flatts- My Wish
Kid Cudi- Erase Me
Beyonce- Be With You
Alicia Keys- Butterflies
Kelly Clarkson- Beautiful DIaster
Hyped:
Bone Crusher- Neva Scared
M.I.A.- Boyz remix
Far East Movement- Like a G6
69 Boyz- Tootsie Roll
Movado- Im So Special
Ester Dean- Drop It Low Remix
Mad:
Kanye West- Runaway
Dixie Chicks- Not Ready To Make Nice
Nicki Minaj- Warning
Jordan Sparks- BattleField

I literally can list songs all day and night, but hey if you haven't heard of any of these songs, I suggest you check them out.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Okay, so I mustn't lie. I was sitting here thinking and thinking and thinking some more, what am i proud of?!?! What has made me proud within the last few days? I'm thinking, hard, and nothing comes to mind. Well, I guess I can say I am proud of the woman I am becoming. I am branching out, I used to be SO dependent, and self-conscious about myself. Somewhere within the few weeks, my confidence has spiked, and quite frankly I've become ballsy. See that can be misconstrued to something negative, but really its not. I used to say I kept it 100% I would tell you the truth point blank, in a respectable manner of course but seriously, I didn't give a hoot if I hurt your feelings. Now, I keep it real, I still don't sugar coat, BUT the difference is I truly mean it. If someone asked me say a month ago, hey lets go do this, and that then that and this, I probably would have thought dang it, I've got sooo much to do, I really do not need to be wasting time doing something I truly don't want to do, but yet I would find a way to justify that action as acceptable in my mind and do it. Now, I just say no, I don't give an explanation because I feel like I don't need to justify my actions to anyone...well maybe my mother, but come on she birthed me. So, what am I proud of? Well, I'm proud of me, for getting my priorities straight, and just taking time to be free! We all need some mental health days!