Monday, November 15, 2010

To online date? Or to not online date?

First and foremost, this is my personal experience, don't let me hinder you or sway you in your decision to online date. Now that after that, I shall now share my experience with you all. Brace yourself...

...Let's start with...
First and foremost eHarmony is expensive, I signed up for a 3 months stint paying about 60 bucks a month for 3 months. By the end of my sign up and getting the secure profile I spent over 200 dollars in 3 months, and lets say it wasn't worth it. Like seriously wasn't worth it, I could have taken myself on an EXPENSIVE date, and had money left over. Lets not forget the key part.. I would have enjoyed myself.

I went on 2 dates in those three months. First of all, you guys know me. I am 6ft tall woman! All the guys were under 6ft. I remember calling eHarmony and complaining. I was so upset bc to me I was dishing out a lot of money, and not getting any decent prospects. I'm like I'm sorry, I'm 6ft tall, I'm not dating better yet considering dating anyone that's 5'2. The operators response? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, if you really fall in love, that wont matter. My response, so you're telling me that you want me to settle? See that's what I hate about these sites, bc I felt like I had to settle. I felt like I had already said I accepted all races, all religious, and it didn't matter if they guy had kids. You know that's just not me. My guy criteria is pretty simple.

1. Be over 6ft tall.
2. Have a great sense of humor.
3. Be a man of Christ.
4. Have a stable job.
5. Have his own car.
6. Have an education.

To me, that list is pretty simple. But that operator pissed me off something good. I was like I want my money back trick LOL! But I was so serious. So shortly after that I connected with this guy. He was OVER 6ft, and everything else was down hill, but thought I'd give him a chance. God, the way he described himself over eharmony, and over the phone, and everything else made me soooo thinking maybe this could be good. Lord have mercy, when I met him in person.. I was disgusted. He looked trashy, like seriously, acted trashy, and just everything about him was bull. Im like WHO are you?!? I know I sound bad, but im not saying you have to be all that and a bag of chips, but dang he was salty! And he looked NOTHING like his picture on eHarmony. That was a bust not the looking part, but the whole package.

So I left him alone, and started talking to this other guy, he seemed soo cool, I decided i didn't wanna waste 4 weeks like the last one getting to know someone, so I met him 3 days after talking to him. Though he wasn't EXACTLY how he  described AT ALL I continued to date him. He was soo interesting, and I was intrigued by him. He was the opposite of everything that I wanted and I decided that maybe that was my problem, that I needed to try something new. Let me tell you, it gets exhausting meeting new people, and trying to get to know someone. This guy was from a difference race from me, so I think learning each others cultures intrigued us both. Well, I was enjoying our month together, and one minute we were cool, and next it was the I love you, we should change our school and work schedules to match each other, and you should move in. When I think about it, that happened week 2.

That's a lot for someone like me who is deathly afraid of COMMITMENT. Commitment give me a rash, makes me feel like I am chocking on air, better yet like i am suffocating. I was in one long relationship, that ended badly and has warped my perception of what a relationship should be like. Anywho. I decided to back off, and the more I backed off the more the guy came back like 10x harder. It got bad, like real bad, I almost had to change my number. I ended up having to pay a small fee for ATT to block him. He then found me on FB and Youtube and kept sending me msgs. You can only tell a person to back off for so long. After that experience I kept paying for eHarmony, but didnt bother to sign in.

I also tried just say that seemed more like a booty call place than a real place to find someone.

After my experience I made a good evaluation that online dating just was not for me. I rather run into mister right or not right, or whomever he maybe than experience what I did on online dating.. Make your own assumptions. I hope it works out for you if your considering online dating!

There's No Place Like Home...Seriously!

Hello everyone. What a chaotic week it has been! My car broke down last week, and I stayed with one of my friends, so that I could get to and from work. I have no complaints because I am greatly thankful no doubt! However, I will say I am glad to be home.

So, I live with my mother, but we are more so like roommates. I come home, and she may or may not be here. Even if she is, I tend to do my own thing, and she does the same. So, after living with 2 people in  a decent size house for years, you get used to certain surroundings you know? So, my friend has a 9 month old precious daughter, her two younger brothers, her mom, dad, and let's not forget the animals. It was like culture shock.

There's a huge difference from living with someone and hanging out. I clearly see the defining line. I was only there for 4 days, and I just don't know how she does it. I don't want to be negative, I've said that already, but I don't, because once again I'm grateful, and if she reads this, I'm just not tryna hurt feelings. But by my fourth day I was irritated, I needed quite time. I never craved to be alone than on that day. Everything bothered me. I don't watch much TV but my show came on one night, and with all the racket I couldn't tell you what happened. I didn't bother to even do homework while I was there, bc I knew I would be frustrated, and now I'm behind. No ones fault but my own. What else?!?! I got sick. I'm not sure if it was because I'm not used to animals in a house, or if it was because one of her little brothers was sick, whatever it was, I just uhhh im just glad I'm home.

I learned a valuable lesson, NEVER wish for someone else's life. What I mean is be grateful for what you have. I guess i took simple things for granted, like peace and quite, Internet, and so much more. Staying with my friend has made me appreciate my mom, for her helping me out, for providing me with a stable environment. Once again.. there's no place like home.