To online date? Or to not online date?

First and foremost, this is my personal experience, don't let me hinder you or sway you in your decision to online date. Now that after that, I shall now share my experience with you all. Brace yourself...

...Let's start with...

 eHARMONY!

First and foremost eHarmony is expensive, I signed up for a 3 months stint paying about 60 bucks a month for 3 months. By the end of my sign up and getting the secure profile I spent over 200 dollars in 3 months, and lets say it wasn't worth it. Like seriously wasn't worth it, I could have taken myself on an EXPENSIVE date, and had money left over. Lets not forget the key part.. I would have enjoyed myself.

I went on 2 dates in those three months. First of all, you guys know me. I am 6ft tall woman! All the guys were under 6ft. I remember calling eHarmony and complaining. I was so upset bc to me I was dishing out a lot of money, and not getting any decent prospects. I'm like I'm sorry, I'm 6ft tall, I'm not dating better yet considering dating anyone that's 5'2. The operators response? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, if you really fall in love, that wont matter. My response, so you're telling me that you want me to settle? See that's what I hate about these sites, bc I felt like I had to settle. I felt like I had already said I accepted all races, all religious, and it didn't matter if they guy had kids. You know that's just not me. My guy criteria is pretty simple.



1. Be over 6ft tall.

2. Have a great sense of humor.

3. Be a man of Christ.

4. Have a stable job.

5. Have his own car.

6. Have an education.



To me, that list is pretty simple. But that operator pissed me off something good. I was like I want my money back trick LOL! But I was so serious. So shortly after that I connected with this guy. He was OVER 6ft, and everything else was down hill, but thought I'd give him a chance. God, the way he described himself over eharmony, and over the phone, and everything else made me soooo thinking maybe this could be good. Lord have mercy, when I met him in person.. I was disgusted. He looked trashy, like seriously, acted trashy, and just everything about him was bull. Im like WHO are you?!? I know I sound bad, but im not saying you have to be all that and a bag of chips, but dang he was salty! And he looked NOTHING like his picture on eHarmony. That was a bust not the looking part, but the whole package.

So I left him alone, and started talking to this other guy, he seemed soo cool, I decided i didn't wanna waste 4 weeks like the last one getting to know someone, so I met him 3 days after talking to him. Though he wasn't EXACTLY how he  described AT ALL I continued to date him. He was soo interesting, and I was intrigued by him. He was the opposite of everything that I wanted and I decided that maybe that was my problem, that I needed to try something new. Let me tell you, it gets exhausting meeting new people, and trying to get to know someone. This guy was from a difference race from me, so I think learning each others cultures intrigued us both. Well, I was enjoying our month together, and one minute we were cool, and next it was the I love you, we should change our school and work schedules to match each other, and you should move in. When I think about it, that happened week 2.

That's a lot for someone like me who is deathly afraid of COMMITMENT. Commitment give me a rash, makes me feel like I am chocking on air, better yet like i am suffocating. I was in one long relationship, that ended badly and has warped my perception of what a relationship should be like. Anywho. I decided to back off, and the more I backed off the more the guy came back like 10x harder. It got bad, like real bad, I almost had to change my number. I ended up having to pay a small fee for ATT to block him. He then found me on FB and Youtube and kept sending me msgs. You can only tell a person to back off for so long. After that experience I kept paying for eHarmony, but didnt bother to sign in.

I also tried match.com...lets just say that seemed more like a booty call place than a real place to find someone.

After my experience I made a good evaluation that online dating just was not for me. I rather run into mister right or not right, or whomever he maybe than experience what I did on online dating.. Make your own assumptions. I hope it works out for you if your considering online dating!

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There's No Place Like Home...Seriously!

Hello everyone. What a chaotic week it has been! My car broke down last week, and I stayed with one of my friends, so that I could get to and from work. I have no complaints because I am greatly thankful no doubt! However, I will say I am glad to be home.

So, I live with my mother, but we are more so like roommates. I come home, and she may or may not be here. Even if she is, I tend to do my own thing, and she does the same. So, after living with 2 people in  a decent size house for years, you get used to certain surroundings you know? So, my friend has a 9 month old precious daughter, her two younger brothers, her mom, dad, and let's not forget the animals. It was like culture shock.

There's a huge difference from living with someone and hanging out. I clearly see the defining line. I was only there for 4 days, and I just don't know how she does it. I don't want to be negative, I've said that already, but I don't, because once again I'm grateful, and if she reads this, I'm just not tryna hurt feelings. But by my fourth day I was irritated, I needed quite time. I never craved to be alone than on that day. Everything bothered me. I don't watch much TV but my show came on one night, and with all the racket I couldn't tell you what happened. I didn't bother to even do homework while I was there, bc I knew I would be frustrated, and now I'm behind. No ones fault but my own. What else?!?! I got sick. I'm not sure if it was because I'm not used to animals in a house, or if it was because one of her little brothers was sick, whatever it was, I just uhhh im just glad I'm home.

I learned a valuable lesson, NEVER wish for someone else's life. What I mean is be grateful for what you have. I guess i took simple things for granted, like peace and quite, Internet, and so much more. Staying with my friend has made me appreciate my mom, for her helping me out, for providing me with a stable environment. Once again.. there's no place like home.

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

You have no Idea that I have been reallly waiting for day 10. This is what I live for! I mean seriously, music beats to my heart!

Happy:
Katy Perry- Teenage Dream
Janea Monea- Tight Rope Remix
La Roux- Bullet Proof
The Script- Breakeven
Al Green- Lets Stay Together
Tupac- Changes
Lauren HIll- Cant Take My Eyes Off Of You
Sad:
Sia- Breathe Me
Anna Nalick- Breathe
NickleBack- Hero
Jamie Foxx- Overdose
Bored (mellow):
Nina Simone-Feeling Good
Rascal Flatts- My Wish
Kid Cudi- Erase Me
Beyonce- Be With You
Alicia Keys- Butterflies
Kelly Clarkson- Beautiful DIaster
Hyped:
Bone Crusher- Neva Scared
M.I.A.- Boyz remix
Far East Movement- Like a G6
69 Boyz- Tootsie Roll
Movado- Im So Special
Ester Dean- Drop It Low Remix
Mad:
Kanye West- Runaway
Dixie Chicks- Not Ready To Make Nice
Nicki Minaj- Warning
Jordan Sparks- BattleField

I literally can list songs all day and night, but hey if you haven't heard of any of these songs, I suggest you check them out.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Okay, so I mustn't lie. I was sitting here thinking and thinking and thinking some more, what am i proud of?!?! What has made me proud within the last few days? I'm thinking, hard, and nothing comes to mind. Well, I guess I can say I am proud of the woman I am becoming. I am branching out, I used to be SO dependent, and self-conscious about myself. Somewhere within the few weeks, my confidence has spiked, and quite frankly I've become ballsy. See that can be misconstrued to something negative, but really its not. I used to say I kept it 100% I would tell you the truth point blank, in a respectable manner of course but seriously, I didn't give a hoot if I hurt your feelings. Now, I keep it real, I still don't sugar coat, BUT the difference is I truly mean it. If someone asked me say a month ago, hey lets go do this, and that then that and this, I probably would have thought dang it, I've got sooo much to do, I really do not need to be wasting time doing something I truly don't want to do, but yet I would find a way to justify that action as acceptable in my mind and do it. Now, I just say no, I don't give an explanation because I feel like I don't need to justify my actions to anyone...well maybe my mother, but come on she birthed me. So, what am I proud of? Well, I'm proud of me, for getting my priorities straight, and just taking time to be free! We all need some mental health days!

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Hmmm I don't like goals. I don't like them because I don't like putting time limits on anything. It can restrict me because I know that I have 23 more days until I have to get this or that done, but on the other hand it makes me stay on top of whatever needs to be done. So my goals for the remainder of this month is to:

1. Eat healthier and exercise more. Holiday season is around the corner, and I don't need to gain anymore wait but maintain or loose. Plus exercising is such an amazing feeling, and it gives me a reason to go outside take in the scenery, and listen to music AND burn some fat.

2. Get rid of useless stuff. I have sooo much stuff its ridiculous, clothes on top of clothes, books, movies, you name it i prob. have it in my room. You know I've got 5 lamps in my room. Why you may wonder?!?! They were on SALE and I just couldn't pass it up. Pathetic! I know!!

3. Go to church every week. Enough said.

4. You still wisely, I sure know how to waste time doing a bunch of nothing!

5. Study more! School is important and grades only show for the most part the amount of studying you do. So I need to def. study more so my grades can improve.

These are 5 short term goals for myself, surely I can meet these goals...right?!?

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

My mother has and will always be my number one. We have an amazing unique relationship. It's more of a sisterhood or best friend status. Sometimes I forget that I am talking to my mother. I talk to her with respect of course, but I'm not afraid to be like GIRLLLL lookie here, this negro dun worked my LAST nerve. I appreciate my mother for all she has done. Mother has taught me so much through my 22 years on this big ole earth. Shes taught me strength, and how to have a heart. You have to understand that I've been around a lot of single mothers through my life, and I think that if I was a single mother I'd be bitter, and resent my kids, and the father for the hell he put me through, but my mother was a young mom with two kids, and never talked down on my father. I think that a lot of women forget that these days. My mother strived for excellence and strived for us to stay our age, to not let us worry about not making ends meet. My mother is one tough cookie, strong willed, blunt, lovable, a mighty woman of God, and so much more. I think of all the times we spend together and think gosh I've got such a great mother. There are people in this world who could careless if they hung out, better yet speak to their mother.

I find it interesting that someone pretty much asked me, aren't you past the age of hanging out with your mother?? My response, I will never be too old to hang out with my mother, I will never let anyone come between me and my wonderful mother, and no friend, nor foe will ever make me feel like my relationship with my mother is too much. I'm just saying...

So ladies, call your mothers, let them know you appreciate them, or if you feel like you cant do that, just thank them for giving you life. I mean that's huge on its own.

After The Storm

I'm learning something new about myself. I'm starting to have this immense fascination/obsession with the sky. It start out with me taking pictures after a storm, and the it continued to me take a picture several times a day. Actually, its not just the sky, but more so of nature. I love taking pictures while I'm driving of scenarios, etc. I have this one picture of a construction site right after a storm and the way the sky is lit up is magnificent. Anyone, just want to show u all this love pic. This is after a tornado hit the are I work in. You really can't even tell.